A Private Public Footpath!

I went for a walk a few weeks ago and saw something that really annoyed me…

Walkers not welcome!

“Beware of the dog”, “Watch out, German Shepherd About”…

I know what you’re thinking, punk. You’re thinking, ‘Did he get fed today or not?’ Now, to tell you the truth, I forgot myself in all this excitement. But being as this is a German Shepherd, one of the most powerful dogs in the world, and will bite your head clean off, you’ve got to ask yourself a question: ‘Do I feel lucky?’ Well do ya, punk?!

Okay, it might not be fun having the public wandering through your garden, but the garden in question belongs to a modern property which would have been built long after the right of way for the footpath was established. When the plans for the house were submitted, you can be damn sure that it was pointed out that this footpath would cross the garden. What’s the solution? Intimidate walkers into not using it!

I’ve contacted the local Countryside access officer to try and get this sorted out. I’d quite like to walk up that footpath, but I’m blowed if I’m going to feed myself to some guy’s dog just to assert my right to walk there!

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2 Responses to “A Private Public Footpath!”

  1. Go for it Col !
    You know you want to lose a bit of weight. A ‘pound of flesh’, or two, fed to a starving trained attack dog will be just the ticket !

  2. Hey Andy – you’ve just invented ‘Fidosuction’! Ho ho… there’s probably somebody somewhere who would go for that. Well, liposuction is pretty brutal and people seem to be queueing up to have that done.

    Unfortunately, I don’t think one attack dog would be enough to see off my current beer belly. It would take a pack of hungry wolves! 😉

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